Gregory Johnson

His story is folklore in both military barracks and hippy coffee houses ? the legend of guitarist, Gregory Johnson. When he was just 16 he won the coveted gold medal at the ?Whacky Wally's Fingerstyle Guitar Championship?. All the other contestants killed themselves after seeing Gregory play. The very next year a guerilla faction of crack addicts ransacked Gregory Johnson's town and tried to steal his family's prize winning birdbath. Gregory merely pointed his guitar at the horde and they all exploded.

Gregory Johnson was brought to Area 51 to communicate with aliens. His D-chord is the only reason they haven't destroyed us all.
During the war of 1812, the mere possibility of Gregory Johnson's existence caused Britain to surrender. President Bush once admitted that his only fear in life is ?Freedom?without Gregory Johnson?.

As of 2007, Gregory Johnson was said to be in the Australian outback hunting werewolves. If you enjoy his music - as supermodels all over the world do ? you may purchase albums on itunes or at www.thelakeislerecords.com