Fats Kaplin

Fats Kaplin was the bastard love child of socialite Gretta Von Tussel and illiterate sharecropper Dennis "Froggy" Kaplin. Shunned as a child he ran away from home at an early age and sold himself to truck drivers while making his way to L.A. Where, after befriending Metallicas Lars Ulrich, he became a session drummer playing on many of the late 80's and early 90's biggest heavy albums including Metallicas most commercially successful recording, simply known as "The Black Album". That was not enough for Fats though.

In early 1994, after teaching himself the recorder, he released his first album "Fats and Dirty" an av-ant guard jazz exploration of his tortuous upbringing. Unfortunately , he never got to reap the rewards of his new found fame, as he tragically died in a freak accident involving Spam, Crisco, and several small appliances. While he may be gone, the ages will always have his musical genius.