Stairway To The Sandbox by Mother's Little Helpers

/You can't put him back in Mommy's tummy/But you can always try singing this song: Oh Baby! Baby, baby, baby!"

"Hoist Up The Glass (And Drink the Bath Water)" is in my humble opinion one of the greatest sailing-and-drinking songs ever. It has a full-blown double narrative in it, like in a Calvin and Hobbes comic where Calvin imagines himself sailing the seas and fighting monsters, while meanwhile back in reality, he's making a huge mess in the bathroom. Complete with banjos, accordions, a chorus you can sing along with in harmony.

Next comes the feel-good keep-your-spirits-up -in-the-face-of-adversity song "Be Like The Little Engine." I don't usually like songs about the powers of positive thinking (too hokey) OR songs about fairy tale characters, but I think this one is redeemed by chorus's landing on the flipped-Aesop's fable and the Muhammad Ali reference: "Be like the fox who swiped the crow's cheese/float the butterfly, sting like the bees!"

Maybe in the 50s you could have aspired to "be like the crow, and avoid the frivolties of vanity," but today's world is very competitive!

And then it's time for "Time Out." "Someone's been bad, now Dad is mad....." Based on some true stories and some made up ones. The line "Who had the bright idea to have a cookout/with a bonfire, underneath the house, while Mom was out?" was actually me when I was 9. We didn't burn the house down, but we sure got in trouble.

Young Man On The Way Up is my singer-songwriter song about watching my little bear grow up. It's very sweet. I think you'll like it!

An instrumental version of "Antibiotic" was the used in the TV promotion for the first season of "This American Life" on Showtime. It's a fun song to sing while taking medicine. "It makes you psychotic....an afternoon tonic...."

Dad Can't Dance. Hipster dads unite! "He's got the spit-up on his shirt from the baby on his arm/He's ordering the warm glass of milk from the bar/But he's ready to go, he's really rockin' on his air guitar....He's got to shake, shake, shake it!" Music inspired by the classic soul dance tracks from when Dad was still in diapers.

Frustrated and Mad. And now for some poetry and jazz. "Well I'm mad like an alley cat who got his fur ruffled/Mad like a bad boy who got himself in trouble/Frustrated like the team that got defeated when somebody else on the other team cheated/Mad like Dad when the seatbelt's unseated and don't make me stop this car and repeat it!"

The Song About Nothing.

I said, "Zachary, do you want to hear the Garbage Truck song?"

"NO!"

How about the Marching Off To Bed song?"

"NO!"

"Well what do you want to hear?"

"Nothing! Song about Nothing!"

And so, by special request, we have: the Song about Nothing.

I'm An Artist is a tribute to the genius of being 2: "If I want to put glue in my hair/if I want to use the cat as a drum/If I want to use my body as a canvas/I know what I'm doing, and this is how it's done/ I'm an artist...I'm an Artist! I'M AN ARTIST!!" Complete with artist-esque vocoder.

Song of the Lonesome Coyote is a sequel to the song of the Saddest Dinosaur in the world. "High off in the hills, when the night is still, he's off wandering all on his own/Noboody knows why, the coyote does cry, but he's never shy about sharing his sorrowful moan/Howoooooooooooooooo!"

And finally, "I Like Things That Go Bang." Doesn't everyone?

So in conclusion, please listen to the songs and the BUY THE CD! You and you're little beasties will love it! And if you're feeling wealthy and prosperous, buy the first CD, "The Kid Is Alright" too!

Thanks for your attention!

Keep it rocking!

Ben

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