Return by Esther Rose Neal

I later moved to Northern California and lead successful Cover Bands in the San Jose and Bay Areas, while also writing original material and becoming better seasoned as an artist. At this time I was experiencing a deep longing, which could not be satisfied in “the world”. God was drawing me into His heart and an intimate relationship with Him and I found myself surrendering my life and talents to His care and control. I wanted to give God back the gifts He had given me, wholeheartedly, genuinely and without compromise. So when I moved back to Southern California, God opened the doors for me to learn what it meant to be a worshiper and I was given opportunities to lead out and grow in my abilities and heart for worship. I have had the privilege to lead worship and minister the heart of God through song in many different arenas. I also attended and graduated from Calvary Chapel’s School of Worship. There I learned even more about who God was, and who I was in His eyes. This helped prepare me to become the Music Director for a local Church, where I learned the value of serving the old as well as being a mentor to the young. I was content and happy to serve and felt this must be the path and place God wanted me to stay. It was only after my husband and I suffered the loss of our child through a miscarriage, that God spoke to us in our grief and confirmed, that now was the time to step out completely in the area of music and ministry. God had been equipping me through surrender, service and suffering, as well as His unceasing love, healing and faithfulness, to be a vessel to be used however He planned and desired for His glory. So God birthed a ministry for my husband and I. Right away, the opportunity was brought forth for me to record the songs He had helped me write through my personal experiences with Him. He has used these songs to encourage, bring hope, strength and healing to many. I am so humbled that God would use me to reach people with His heart through my life and songs. Since then God has given me even more platforms to minister from. I have lead worship and shared my songs for mega and multi-generational church’s, women’s retreat’s and conferences, prayer and worship conferences, outreaches, festivals, Celebrate Recovery ministry, Harp and Bowl Worship, and more. I have been blessed to have local RADIO play and interviews, as well as opening for TELECAST and NATALIE GRANT. I pray that whatever God has me do, or wherever He has me go, I would always glorify, radiate and point to Him. Thank you for taking the time to read about my journey so far. Blessings!

Here are some of the stories behind the songs off my album "Return".

RETURN

SONG STORY

Return was the title of an unwritten song that had been placed in my mind year’s prior. I would be led to scriptures that spoke of coming back to the Lord, turning, repenting, changing, returning. It is God’s cry for us! He longs for relationship with His children.

I personally went on a journey away from the Lord. Although I accepted Him as early as 3 years of age, it was a long road to surrendering my life to Him. I tried to be faithful in my own strength as a late teenager; I did the walk without the relationship. I relied on other’s to teach me and to pray, when I needed to talk to my savior myself! So, when my strength ran out, so did I. The world and the enemy swooped me away and I tried to find my value and happiness through the worlds ways. Hurt after hurt, failure after failure brought me to a place of knowing the Joy the world would bring was not the Joy I craved. I had a deep hole that was only widening. I always knew the Lord was there for me but I was ashamed. I chose other things instead of Him. I went back to church one evening and someone sang. My eyes were opened and I realized my deep need and desire for the Lord. The very things that hurt me the deepest were the things that lead me to a place of surrendering. I know I am safe in my heavenly Father’s arms. I know He is the only one that never will leave me or fail me. Over the years, He has helped heal my wounds through His Spirit and His Immeasurable love. He was waiting all along for me to Return to Him, so He could fill me with Joy that is not fleeting. My hope is that you would run to Jesus! He knows your pain and He gave His perfect life so you could know the truth of His perfect love for you! He did it all for you! He is always waiting to take you back into His safe, loving arms. Repentance is acknowledging your sin and turning away from it. To Return to the Lord only takes a moment, but will offer you an eternity!! Please come back, forgiveness is waiting!

YOU DELIGHT IN ME

SONG STORY

I asked the Lord to help me write a song of remembrance about what He had done in me at a retreat called Cleansing Streams. It was a powerful experience. My Grandmother had just passed away and right after her funeral I drove to the retreat because I knew God wanted me to be there. I showed up very late to the first night. I was there just before the last prayer time. I went to the designated person to pray for me and she asked me to say three simple words, I FORGIVE MYSELF. My lips could not utter those words no matter how hard I tried. Immediately she and others began praying over me until finally my mouth opened and I felt free to speak those words. I had not realized I was holding onto so much shame for my past sins! I knew the Lord had forgiven me but I could not forgive myself. The Lord had to help me be free from the guilt and shame I still carried from my past. The next day we were all worshiping and my friend told me to try and picture Jesus’ face as I sang. I had done that before but for some reason I could see His face like never before. He also gave me a vision of myself as a little girl twirling and dancing. He was watching me and laughing with delight. He showed me that He saw me as a child, innocent and clean through His blood. He did not see me covered with the mire of my sin, but washed and beautiful. He truly delighted in me and loved to see me dance and sing in the freedom only he could give me. This song has not only helped me remember His joy and delight in me; it has touched many others as well. I hope it will do the same for you.

Give Me Vision

SONG STORY

All of us wonder why we are here? What we were created to be? A Wife, a Mom, a Teacher, a Pastor, a Worshiper, a Missionary, a Doctor…? The list goes on! This is a song that cries out to the Lord for those answers. It is a song that is sung when you are in a place of surrender. When you’ve stopped looking to your own ways and desires and you long for God’s ways and desires. We all face doubt, one time or another, especially when we don’t understand what’s happening in our lives. The Lord says; He (His Word) is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. I just need to trust in Him. I did not think the Lord would bring me to this place of being able to write and record songs. I had given that up years ago! I was so happy worshipping Him that I didn’t need to run after my childhood dreams anymore! What I didn’t understand was that the Lord placed certain desires in my heart, but changed them to bring Him the Glory and Honor, instead of myself. He gave me a better dream and a true purpose!

HEAL THE BROKEN

SONG STORY

It was a time that changed all of us. Our false sense of security in our nation was gone! The whole world was in shock and mourning. It was 9-11 and we all felt out of control. It was my desire to do something, so I prayed and cried. Later in that season of mourning, I was crying out to the Lord for His Word and heart in the midst of all of this. I opened my Bible and it opened to Psalm 147 entitled, ”God Heals the Brokenhearted”. I knew it was no coincidence. I knew I should put it to music. I sat on my floor with my guitar and began. This is what the Lord let’s me do. He let’s me share His heart through music. I am forever grateful that even through the foolish things of the world, (Me!), He can move! May you find the broken places of your heart restored and made new through the power and love of Jesus.

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