Merchants of Sleep and Purpose by Biography of Ferns

come back to the states!!!!)

We have played shows with Melt Banana, Deerhoof, Hot Hot Heat, The Natural History, C Average, The Fruit Bats, Deerhoof, Decmeberists, Okkervil River, Aveo, The Mines, The Familiars, Kent 3, FCS North, Dead Science, VAZ, The Catheters, Xiu Xiu, The Divorce, Ms. Led, The Lights, The Vells, Degenerate Art Ensemble, & many, many others.

yeah, yeah, bunch of fancy crud.......

Have a, indie label? Contact us! We run our own, called Tellous, but we could likely use more resources to release our newest record.....

corporate labels or pseudo indies, we have NO INTEREST in signing with you. Go find some vapid band from California with good hair on Myspace.

We like to play benefits..the further left on the political spectrum, the better...

We like alternative spaces too!!! weird shows....in strange places...for people wearing halloween costumes in July

Who we are:

Band Members

Justin Hamacher - Guitar, Voice

Raised by hermaphrodite wolves on a small coastal peninsula of Chile in the latter part of the 23rd century, Justin enjoys croche and kick boxing random elderly bus riders. He has undertaken many succesful business endeavors, noteably the Nietzsche coloring book, which resulted in the suicides of 11 three year olds and his subsequent imprisonment of 5 years. He dislikes yams and republicans immensley.

Larry Biely - Bass

Larry's background is unknown, but once when he left his wallet on the coffee table while using the rest room at a diner, the other band members greedily probed it hoping to illuminate the background of this mystery man. To their surprise, inside they found absolutely nothing save an i.o.u. from Justin and a faded, green tinted photo. In the photo was what appeared to be a young, juvenile Larry and a woodland elf!! This leads the band members to beleive Larry is from another more magical realm.

Brett Rudy - Drums, backing vocals

Brett eats raw meat every morning. He bathes (once a year) in the piranha infested waters of Greenlake. He sleeps on a bed of glass while listening to looped remixes of "Electric Avenue" by Eddie Grant. He carries a shillelagh passed down from his ancestral Scottish clan and will promptly bonk you on the head if you cut him off in traffic, or "look at him funny" while he is ordering a scone.

Morgock the gnome

Morgock is an invisible gnome level 12, chaotic good, 99 hit points....only Justin can see him and he plays a magic whistle in Justin's dreams that gives him the melodies for all the b.o.f. songs....Morgock does not eat fastfood, does drink too much and is armed with a crossbow that shoots ice bolts + 3 at unsuspecting orcs and republicans alike. He wants bacon for all his meals and emits a peircing wail when this doesn't happen. His best friend is an iguana named 'Spleen'. You can contact Morgock at biographyoffernshotmail.com.

that is the scoop, super sleuth......

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